Miner Disturbance/Epitaphs

Overview

The end screen lists a category of ending and a random epitaph which depends on that category. A number of the epitaphs make more or less blatant references: Links below are mainly to external sites.

Epitaphs by Ending

Quit the game: Sought the Quiet Life

• A dwarf or a rat? History will decide.
• All flight and not profit.
• Bravely ran away in fear. (An oxymoron, and possibly a reference to the Monty Python film Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Many other such references exist)
• Couldn't stand the heat.
• Fame and infamy eluded them.
• If you know this person, please put something interesting here.
• Nobody knows why this gravestone is here.
• Ooh, a clean hanky.
• There are only myths, don't run away.
• This little piggy went 'Wee, Wee, Wee' all the way back to the title screen.
• Was really lame.
• When I were young, dwarves was dwarves not cowards.

Explosion: Went with a Bang

• Chose to paint the walls.
• Marks of an explosion found near body - death remains a mystery.
• Playing with fire is bad.
• Reduced to ash.
• Remember kids: don't try this at home.
• Remember to throw the grenade next time, not the pin.
• Tis only a flesh wound!
• They never read the instructions.
• Must have spontaneously combusted.

Burnt in Lava: Tragically Molten

• Burninated
• Dwarves are as hard as iron...iron melts in lava...QED
• Final words: I'm MEELLTTINGGG.
• Lava is hot.
• Lava melts rock and dwarf alike.
• Run away faster next time.
• That seismograph is there for a reason, you know.
• The light at the end of the tunnel wasn't the way out, then.
• Too close.
• Unfortunately Dwarves are not related to the Tzhaar...
• Who would have thought that lava is bad?

Burnt in Oil (general): Burnt the Brightest

• Burnt to a crisp.
• What a crispy twit!
• Firestarter - miner ender.
• Not even Crazy Arthur is impressed.
• Deep-fried.
• This bodes poorly for the afterlife.
• There will be cinder!

Burnt in Oil (Used jetpack): Flaming Firework

• Before using jetpack, check whether you are covered in flammable substance.
• Covered themselves in oil and then used a jetpack.
• Had no one to blame but themselves.
• Isn't going to do that again.
• Probably did it on purpose.
• They never read the instructions.
• Well, that was spectacular!
• When coated in oil, don't use jetpacks.

Drowned in Water (Ordinary or Cold): Drowned By Greed

• Believed they were a fish.
• Bloated and blue.
• Breathing is good, not breathing is bad.
• Darn water pressure.
• Dwarven lungs aren't designed to breathe water.
• Splosh.
• Take an Aqualung next time, and remember to refill it.
• They don't call it mineral water for nothing, you know.
• Wasn't a natural diver.
• Yay! Food for the little fishies.

Drowned in Oil: Black Gold, Crude Death

• Coated in oil.
• Is fuming.
• Greasy and gone.
• Oil of you lay here.
• Seasoned in petroleum.
• Was pumped out in a barrel.
• Will be cremated, at a distance.
• Tanked in oil.

Suffocated in Gas: Croaked Choking

• Dynamite removes gas...
• Gas is bad - very, very bad.
• Gas! Put on the mask! Didn't study Wilfred Owen...
• Green air isn't so great on your lungs.
• Invest in a gas mask.
• Oooh, green stuff.
• The curse of the green glowing rocks strikes again.
• This gas is about as good for you as a sausage in a bun.

Crushed by Falling Rocks: Here Lies Crushed

• A harder hat would have saved a lot of pain.
• Ah, so rocks are heavy.
• Fancy life as a vein of coal?
• Falling boulders mean lots of pain.
• Has a small carbon footprint.
• Headaches are caused by rocks on the brain.
• Kleine Miner
• When you apply great presssure to carbon you get diamonds; when the same is done to miners, you get dead miners.

Eaten by a Myth: Eaten Alive

• A Fatal Encounter of the Third Kind.
• Got mythed.
• Just think of the stories they could have told...if they got away.
• Later miners will loot from this corpse.
• Myth busted.
• Only their boots were recovered.
• So, they aren't myths after all, then.
• What big teeth!
• You are likely to be eaten by a myth.

Eaten by a Walrus: A Maritime Meal

• Became fat for the winter.
• Was mauled by a mammal.
• Crushed by a ton of blubber!
• Had a wildlife experience.
• Is part of the circle of life.
• Made lunch.
• The teeth are over a foot long! SURELY that's warning enough?
• Was bullrushed.
• Was pierced by a pinniped.

Frozen in Cold Water: Chilled to the Bone

• Cryogenically frozen.
• Became a popsicle.
• Became part of the big freeze.
• Impersonated a snowman.
• Is as cold as ice!
• One miner on the rocks, coming up!
• 'Snow way to die!
• Was nicely preserved for archaeologists.
• Was touched by Jack Frost.
• Is the coolest person in town.
• Is comfortably numb.

Frozen by an Ice Bomb: Played with Science

• Frozen in time.
• Has freezer burn.
• Ignored the manufacturer's warnings.
• I'm invincible! (Possibly)
• Is a lesson to all those who ignore the instructions page!
• Left to his own devices.
• Used dangerous technology at close proximity.
• When the timer starts, Run!

Eaten by Giant Worm: Munched and Crunched

• Gobbled by a Giant Worm!
• Boo!
• Surprise!
• Happy Hallowe'en!
• Composted.
• Fed the Earth.
• Trick and torn to pieces.

Escaped the Volcano: A Miner and a Survivor

Technically these aren't epitaphs.

• A gentleman, too!
• Full of good dwarven traits.
• GOLD GOLD GOLD.
• "I like miner disturbance, it has depth" - Mod Korpz
• Made his momma proud.
• Now to spend all this GOLD.
• Stood the test of time, this time.
• The toast of all dwarves.
• |_| |2 1337
• *Sample certificate - do not copy*