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Overview[]

The end screen lists a category of ending and a random epitaph which depends on that category. A number of the epitaphs make more or less blatant references: Links below are mainly to external sites.

Epitaphs by Ending[]

Killed by Restarting the Room[]

  • (Player Name) tried again.
  • (Player Name) restarted the room.
  • (Player Name) realized that failure was inevitable.
  • (Player Name) reset
  • (Player Name) goofed
  • (Player Name) decided they were trapped
  • (Player Name) lost the will to carry on
  • (Player Name) had a rethink
  • (Player Name)'s lack of concentration got them in trouble

Killed by Bottomless Pit[]

  • (Player Name) has fallen and cannot get up.
  • (Player Name) took a tumble.
  • (Player Name)'s attempt was pitiful.
  • (Player Name)'s velocity was definitely terminal.
  • (Player Name) became the fall-guy.
  • (Player Name) slipped and fell.
  • (Player Name) fought with gravity and lost.
  • (Player Name) fought with Newton's law and the law won.

Killed by Bobby-George Totem (darts)[]

  • (Player Name) got the point.
  • (Player Name) served as an impromptu dartboard.
  • (Player Name) was punctured.
  • (Player Name) was popped.
  • (Player Name) didn't judge the timings correctly.

Killed by Lindemann Totem (fire)[]

  • (Player Name) should stay out of the kitchen.
  • (Player Name) was carbonised.
  • (Player Name) couldn't take the heat.
  • (Player Name) was flamed.
  • (Player Name) smelled the napalm.
  • (Player Name) was roasted.
  • (Player Name) was barbecued.
  • (Player Name) was slightly more than well-done.
  • (Player Name) felt the burn.
  • (Player Name) got a little hot under the collar.
  • (Player Name) was toasted.
  • (Player Name) was fired.
  • (Player Name) was immolated.
  • (Player Name) was burnt.

Killed by Skeleton[]

  • (Player Name) stumbled into a skeleton.
  • (Player Name) now believes in the afterlife.
  • Someone had a bone to pick with (Player Name).
  • (Player Name) forgot to load their gun.
  • (Player Name) communed with the dead.
  • (Player Name) messed with the undead.
  • (Player Name) now realises that the walking dead aren't friendly.
  • (Player Name) finally realised what 'Tomb of the Dead' meant.

Killed by Snake Pit[]

  • (Player Name) was chomped by a cobra.
  • (Player Name)'s ankles were nibbled.
  • (Player Name) was popped by a python.
  • (Player Name) hates snakes.
  • (Player Name) was bitten by a snake.
  • (Player Name) thought hissing was a sign of friendship.
  • (Player Name) ran headlong into a pit of poisonous snakes.

Killed by Lagoon of Lava[]

  • (Player Name) felt the heat.
  • (Player Name) needs to cool off.
  • (Player Name) found that lava was bad to touch.
  • (Player Name) melted.
  • (Player Name) took a dip.
  • (Player Name) took a nice hot bath.

Killed by Rolling Jones Boulder[]

  • (Player Name) made a poor speedbump.
  • (Player Name) rolled with it.
  • (Player Name)'s interests include hard rock.
  • (Player Name) developed a serious crush.
  • (Player Name) was bowled over.
  • (Player Name) was smeared.
  • (Player Name) forgot to dodge the boulder.

Killed by Wandering Wall[]

  • (Player Name) felt the squeeze.
  • (Player Name) went squish.
  • (Player Name) couldn't take the pressure.
  • (Player Name) became two-dimensional.
  • (Player Name) got stuck between a rock and a hard place.
  • (Player Name) always wanted to be thinner.
  • (Player Name) was smushed.
  • (Player Name) was pulverised.

Killed By Blade Trap[]

  • (Player Name) found their body was not blade proof.
  • (Player Name got a bouncing blade to the face.

Killed by Ten-Megawatt Laser[]

  • (Player Name) went into the light.
  • (Player Name) crossed the beam.
  • (Player Name) didn't see the light.
  • (Player Name) was hit by a laser.
  • (Player Name) was lasered.
  • (Player Name) suddenly remembers that fiery-coloured beams of death should be avoided.